Dealing with Stress

Everyone experiences stress. Like me right now. At the moment I am trusting my friend to do my hair using straws. Yes straws to make my hair curly, but since my hair is so short, it will be an afro. But it’s fine, because what’s life without a little adventure, right?!? All joking aside, stress can either make or break you. As college students we often face stress every day. From paying for school, housing, managing our time, getting good grades, and on top of that we are told that we need to have social life so we can find the one we’re supposed to marry. But no pressure. Once we do get married and have families of our own, that stress only increases, now instead of providing only for yourself, you have to provide for your new family as well.

So why do we have stress? Our Heavenly Father wants us to be happy, so surely, he doesn’t want us to experience this right? Well even though it is hard for us in the moment our life is for the better because of it. Imagine if you never did anything hard, if you didn’t have to work a little harder for something. Our learning would be stagnant. We wouldn’t progress. Just like we are taught in the scriptures, we would know no joy because we would know no misery.

Coping is the way that we deal with stress in our lives. It is when we take the opportunity to learn and grow. When you cope with stress as a family then you can actually become stronger and closer together because of it. However, our instinct isn’t always to keep moving forward. Instead we try to avoid the problem till it’s over, which it never really will. We often shut down and try not to think about it. This is often when depression comes into play.

We have all, in some way or another, experienced a little bit of depression. The three biggest things that we tell ourselves if we are depressed is; 1, no one loves me. 2, Life is horrible. 3, Nothing is going to change. Satan knows how to tear us down. He tells us those lives. He tells us we aren’t good enough, that no one cares for us, and that we will always be stuck with that seemingly horrible life. But what if we could change that?

First think of a stressful even that you have had in your life, and then think of a specific time that you were weighed down by that event. Now think of the emotions that you had in that specific moment. Did you feel sad, angry, worthless, upset, hurt, frustrated, anxious, etc.? Now think of what you were telling yourself in that time. Were you telling yourself that you aren’t good enough, that you are a horrible person, etc.? We often have so many thoughts running through our heads that we don’t realize all of the lies that we are telling ourselves. Next, give each statement a percentage on how much you believe that to be true. Now ask yourself a few questions such as: What would you say to a friend with those thoughts? What alternatives might there be? What is the evidence against this view? And, how would you see this if you were not depressed? After you have answered one or more of those questions to each of your previous thoughts, give each answer a percentage on how much you believe the alternative.

Often times these steps help us put our feelings and thoughts into perspective. It can give us hope to keep moving forward, and the opportunity to prevent those thoughts in the future because we now recognize them as the lies, they are. The last step that you take in this little quiz is to then rate how much you believe your original thoughts. Often times we don’t feel the previous emotions as strongly and we are better able to move forward. So when dealing with stress in your life, just remember that you will be able to work through it, and as you do, you will actually be able to become a better, stronger person because of it!